3 Ways Travel Heals and Nurtures

Sofia, Bulgaria

As someone who has struggled her entire life with self love and the constant need for validation, I think travel is the only thing I've ever done that was solely for me. It was the one thing that has been enough to overpower the hold of trauma bonds, codependency, and anxious attachment. When I boarded that plane on March 10, 2022, I fully chose me for the first time in my life. And that's the first time I showed myself what unadulterated self-love feels like. 

I've just spent nearly a week in Sofia, Bulgaria and I found my need for validation started to evaporate after about 4 days. It feels like a huge weight off my chest. Living in the moment, navigating a city with a huge language barrier, and meeting so many different people with similar mindsets brings you into the present moment instead of seeking approval from others.

When you successfully get outside your comfort zone, and prove to yourself you're capable of these things you never before considered, you learn to adapt and to rely on yourself. Learning that the only person you need to prove yourself to is you is an incredible achievement after years of chasing it from other people. 

My need for validation kept me reliving the past. But living in the moment every day in order to make my way around Europe by myself is effectively rewiring my mind to just be, and to remain in flow. 

I have found that I don't respond well to sudden changes but when on the road, things can change at the drop of a hat. Am I going to have a disproportionate emotional response to every flight delay, cancellation, new location recommendation, and weather change? The same logic applies to other areas of my life. It's the need to control my surroundings and even the people in my life, at a subconscious level of course. I need to control how people feel about me through people-pleasing, and control others' reactions to me. 

When on the road, I'm learning to accept the flow of things and release so much anxiety around peoples' emotions. This is why navigating a city and my travels with strong language barriers can be so intimidating. You're worried people will get frustrated with you, or make fun of you, or not approve of you in one way or another. Not giving a flying f*** is a hard learned lesson that comes only when you release the expectation that people should approve of you. 

Before I boarded the plane to Europe, I was still trauma bonded to unhealthy and toxic people. I can already feel those attachments being broken. For the first time in about a year, I feel like I can breathe. I'm not suffocating in trauma or toxicity. 

So here are 3 ways travel has already begun to heal me and nurture me to great emotional health:

1) Brings me in to the present moment whether I'm ready or not and keeps me there. I have no choice but to go with the flow. 

2) Travel pushes my comfort zone and leaves me thinking "I did that!". The only validation I need to seek is my own. Travel (especially solo) will have me believing in myself so I won't need the approval of others. 

3) I'm healing from a lifetime of people pleasing because otherwise, I'll get scammed. 😂So I'm learning really quick to do only what's best for me. I learn how to say and stick to "no". This mindset will follow me back into everyday life. 

Thanks for reading! 

Adventurous Annie!